Differences Between Same-Sex and Opposite-Sex
Domestic Violence
Although the dynamics of domestic violence are largely the same
regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation, there
are additional issues to consider for LGBTI domestic violence situations.
Fewer Services
Getting help may require some level of outing regarding sexual
orientation and gender identity. Most services available to
straight women are also available to lesbians, but few services
are geared to work specifically with lesbians. Some of these
services may serve transgender women, but there are few or no
shelters and services for trans or male victims of domestic
violence, gay or straight. There are some domestic violence services specifically for
LGBTIQ people, such as the Colorado Anti-Violence Program.
Increased Isolationn
The isolation that accompanies domestic violence can be
compounded by being LGBTIQ in a homophobic society. Silence
about domestic violence within the LGBTIQ community further
isolates the victim, giving more power to the batterer.
Protecting the Community
LGBTIQ people feel understandably protective of their
relationships in the face of widespread discrimination and
negative stereotypes among the wider population. Many LGBTIQ
people don't want to admit openly that their
relationship - which is already seen as "sick" - has this
problem. Heterosexist Control
One of the weapons that batterers in same-sex relationships
may use involve "heterosexist control." This means that the
batterer takes advantage of the homophobic and heterosexist
nature of the larger society - as well as our own internalized
heterosexism - to further dominate and control their partner.
Heterosexist control can take a variety of forms, including:
-
Threats to "out" the victim — A batterer may threaten to
tell friends, family, coworkers, bosses, or the landlord about
the victim's sexual orientation as an additional threat.
-
Increased risk of losing children — The risk of losing
children to third parties (the birth mother or father,
grandparents, the State) is greater for LGBT couples when
domestic violence is involved. A batterer can threaten
disclosing the sexual orientation of a parent to the courts or
foster care authorities.
-
Threats of deportation — For individuals who may not be
documented residents of this country, abusive partners may
threaten to report their partner to the Immigration and
Naturalization Service.
-
Non-trans privilege — A non-transgendered abuser may use
transphobia to their advantage. This can take the form of
verbal/emotional abuse (i.e., using incorrect pronouns or name);
outing trans victim without their consent to work, family, in
public, etc.; taking away important legal documents; denying
access to hormones; forcing victim to dress in clothing they
are not comfortable with; etc.
For more information:
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Q & A
Myths about domestic
violence
Differences between same-sex and
opposite-sex
domestic violence
Questions to ask
yourself about your
relationship
What you can do if
you are scared or
concerned
Related Pages
Safety & Hate Crimes
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